No, no hip hip hoorays for me.

The only success I've encountered in the past few months is getting from point A to point B without a total panic attack; my GPS being my new best friend.

How long does "success" have to be maintained to still be considered "success"?

"We met on line" they tout. "It was love at first sight." "Within fifteen minutes we knew." "We were married the next day." Now, I'm not a betting person, but I just don't feel that optimistic about this. Too cynical?

"I have been on this food plan for 2 weeks, three days and have lost half my body weight." "Really, you can get used to living on air and sunflower seeds." "I have emptied my closet of every article of clothing I own and am prepared to go outdoors draped only in a couple of strategically placed band aids." 

This, of course, takes us directly from success stories to inspirational stories, which morph into a magazine article, which gets expanded into a novel, then a made for TV program, finally rewritten for the big screen. Remember Erin Brockovich? I think I have seen her on late night television doing insurance ads. Alternatively, the once upon a time 'succeeders' are resurrected, being gleefully dissected in their fall from 'success grace', as the latest cover story in the National Enquirer, People or Us.

Which is precisely why I am so delighted with my decision to attempt nothing new. Navigating from the kitchen to the living room and recalling what I was looking for when I entered, is about as much success as I can tolerate.