In the past week alone I've seen a number of ads that absolutely baffle and astound me.

Let's see, first I came across a company called NYDJ® which stands for Not Your Daughter's Jeans®. Their claim to fame is that their jean  "lifts you up, you can wear one size smaller than you normally wear, they call themselves the original "Tummy Tuck Jean®".

Let's stay with the one size smaller notion. Is that for those of us who know that when we get to a certain size, and a kamikaze diet is only a mouthful away, that we will THINK that we are actually not at that size yet, and keep eating? Obviously, they do.

Here's one where the copywriter might be taken out and shot. The headline screams at you "Got Turkey Neck?" Get this, the tag line is "Remember…."If you have skin…you need StriVectin®." IF YOU HAVE SKIN?

Lastly, you can go check out, TryWrinkleCure.com. Here the claim is "Looking Better Means Living Longer." When was the last time you picked up a National Geographic and gazed, admiringly at the elders of some tribal culture somewhere in the outposts of New Guinea, or the Far East? Seems to me that they have lived a very very long life, as for the Looking Better Part…that's up for debate, but they certainly have endured very nicely, don't you agree, without The Miracle Cure®

Nonetheless I went ahead and bought all three products.

I applied StriVectin® to my entire body (I do have skin) put on my one size smaller, "not my daughter's jeans", which of course pushed the slathered StriVectin skin up and out causing my slathered skin to pour over the waistband, proceeded to reslather myself with The Miracle Cure® product so I could live longer. 

How come, I wondered, I don't "Feel Better" as advertised?