The essay in the Atlantic magazine was "What Makes Us Happy?"  a fairly provocative title, I thought, so I read on. After all, aren't we all searching to find "happy."

This  essay, written by Joshua Wolf Shenk,  reported the results of a longitudinal study of 268 men, begun in the '30's, who were, then, sophomores at Harvard.  They have been (as reported by David Brooks in an op-ed column in the Times, They Had It Made) probed, poked and measured ever since.

I suspect, considering that these were males, and Harvard students no less, your immediate reaction would be how skewed the results might be. My sentiments, too. But the scientist's insights into the human condition, led by its longtime director George Vaillant, ultimately negated this concern, for me.

So then, what makes us happy?

There's good news. Here are some out takes. You will, no doubt, come up with other insights, if you opt to read the essay.

-Life improves between the ages of 50-75. Negative unhealthy behaviors start to diminish. (You should ask your children to validate this)

-Valliant's concept of "Healthy Adaptations" is discussed. These include altruism, humor, anticipation, suppression and sublimation. And if your therapy is working, you have a handle on these….

-Regular exercise

-Relationships and warm connections (siblings, friends, mentors, relatives…not only Mom and Dad) whew!

-Cholesterol levels at 50 have nothing to do with health in old age. Really?

-Age 25-35 is the toughest for just about everyone. Got that one right.

and lastly, direct insights from Valliant-

-Aging is a lot less scary than people think it is.

-Happiness is about playing and working and loving. And loving is the most important of them all.

-Happiness is love.  

So then……

Are you happy? Are you on your way to happy? Considering what to do to be happy?

Pouring a glass of red wine?

Wondering who really thinks that aging is less scary than people think it is.

And lastly, thinking you will never say to your kids, "Are you happy, now?" in the same tone, with the same voice you have used throughout their life.