First, I read their note. Then, I read their accompanying profile , then I make up an additional story about them.

My psychoanalyst friend, Susan, chastises me for my behavior. "Why make up a story?" she asks. "You need to ask them, if you want a further explanation as to what they may have meant when they said whatever they said."

Let me give you an example. "Hi," the email begins, "I usually like younger women, but you struck my fancy. Would you be interested in starting a dialog?" So, I look at the profile. His stated age preference is in fact, to meet women who are 25-45. Did I mention that he is over 65 years old?

"Ask him" says my analyst friend. "Perhaps he is rethinking his preferences."

Or, as another example, I'll receive a nice, rather benign note, "nice profile, nice pictures, shall we chat?"

So, I go to read the profile which, among other stuff, describes, very specifically, what feminine attire he desires. In addition to the heels, hose and little black dress ensemble, there was alot of stuff about silk, satin and I think, garters.

It isn't that these items couldn't be part of my repertoire of attire…It's just that I read all of this very, very carefully, and nowhere did I see an option of an oversized tee shirt, or sweats as being night wear options.

Susan is probably right. Don't make up a story. Find out more. So, I do.

But, I think to myself, I know better and I rely on my gut. Both guts, actually.

The gut that belongs to a 62 year old woman who will never again have a 25-45 year old gut for guy number 1 and the gut that chooses Spanx to conceal it rather than the lycra body suit, to flaunt it, for guy number 2.