Scientists have discovered that cell phone usage causes an increase in brain glucose (or sugar) metabolism.

My first reaction was a huge wow. An increase in my metabolism?! Terrific, with the amount of time I spend on my phone I'll be a size 2 in no time.

Not so much.

Here's why. As a sobering explanation, if you eat and drink too much, your glucose level is raised and the effect on the brain is that you compromise your ability to concentrate, remember and learn.

Great.

Talk on the phone for fifty minutes or longer, simultaneously throw back a cheeseburger and forget your name. 

There is good news.

This particular study was only able to document that there was an increase in brain activity. Whether or not it is harmful, in the long or short term, remains to be seen.

Texting, anyone?