An 'on line find your honey baby sweetie' Color Code Test?

A fifteen minute test that will give me a life-changing personal insight? Determine that I am a yellow, white, blue or red and then I will have real insights into my actions and how I relate to other personalities? 

And heretofore I based my entire being on thinking I am an autumn.

What will they think of next?

It must be pretty competitive out there, getting new members to sign up in 'find your honey baby sweetie' land. I, for one, would have preferred a gift with purchase…maybe some face cream, but I suppose, if they thought of this, they decided it just wasn't compelling enough. And, really, what would they have given the other female members?

I'm here to suggest that they offer the Kuder Preference Test. (For those not in the know, it's a test for career assessment and career planning).

So, if finding love, color coded or otherwise is challenging, perhaps a new career option isn't a bad second runner up plan.

New to the ‘honey baby sweetie’ on line dating world?

It shows.

But you’ll learn, if the adage of old dogs new tricks is true.

In the meantime, here are a few things that you might want to internalize before you continue down the path toward eternal bliss.

Holding someone captive for a 45 minute soliloquy is fine if you are in your therapist’s office. They, after all, get paid. During a getting to know you meet and greet, not so much.

Empathy is a very attractive trait. “I understand, I see, I know, I’ve been there.” Expecting to hear those utterances after two, or more, tales of woe is probably pushing the envelop. Pick one. Bad divorce(s) or rotten kid(s). Not both.

Listen for breathing. If it is very very rhythmic chances are they have fallen asleep. If that is the case, best maneuver would be to, depending where this meet and greet is happening, either hang up, get the check, simply slip out.

A second go around is probably off the table anyhow.

Cute, isn’t she? Makes you smile. At least it made me smile, when a friend sent it to me.

I don’t imagine, however, that it elicited quite the same response from the “meet your on line hopeful honey baby sweetie fellow” my friend had sent it to in response to his request for a full body photo. Amend that, for a recent, full body photo.

While Tom had Renee at Hello, apparently for the rest of the mating, dating, forever and ever crowd, the requirements are much more exacting.

“How did he make the request, and maintain some semblance of delicacy in doing so?” I asked. He wrote, she offered, “I normally don’t reply to emails with only one photo posted. Not that I get a flood of emails or that I consider myself a trophy. Just that that criterion has been a fairly reliable guide in the past—one which I have ignored to my great loss (of, time, travel and expenditure”).

Needless to say, she didn’t hear back from him.

Can’t really fault him for his request. Consider, really, the time, travel and expenditure consequences.

I did ask her how many hopefuls she responded to that either had no picture posted, or whose picture was, oh, how does one put this gracefully, scary? She agreed, somewhat sheepishly, that her shallow button was easily pressed, and regardless of the accompanying wonderfully written prose, she was apt to hit the delete, delete, and move onto the next.

He’s vindicated.

So now what?

Is it really the overworked, overused, beaten into submission request for chemistry at play here?

How’s about this branch of the science?

I think all the on line seekers of beauty and truth should take classes in the art of Alchemy. They can, if they are clever enough, learn how to transmute (like that word?) the base metals (hopefuls) into a more valuable and precious metal (a date) with a flick of a wand and some magical incantations. No photos required.

Larry David, of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Seinfeld fame (in case you have been in a cave for the last decade) has a philosophy about this ‘let’s make a plan’ that most of us, I believe, would adopt if we dared.

Take, for example, this exchange.  “How’s about we get together?” Larry’s response would include the “why bother? We don’t really want to, we will email back and forth, ultimately make a date and then with certainty break it. So, no…let’s not.”

The rest of us make the date.

In the on line meet your honey, baby, sweetie world, making a plan takes herculean efforts. It’s rather an odd phenomenon as the goal of the on line meet your honey baby sweetie world is, oh my, to meet someone. If the act of having a date actually does occur, it is usually set up to happen as a drive by. A second scenario is a beverage of some sort, but preferably not something hot, as the time it takes to actually be able to swallow said liquid may be way more time than one wishes to devote to this activity. The third possible scenario is to plan a date and have dinner. This maneuver, I have come to learn, is usually made by the dating uninitiated. It is something they quickly realize they will never do again. See plan A.

One could adopt the electrician, plumber, contractor way of making a plan. You simply don’t call back. Alternatively, there is the cable or appliance repair person maneuver, which is to give it a day part window. “I’ll be over to pick you up between 12 and 6.

That works for you, doesn’t it?”