relationships
fine tuning
random thoughts

Been Disappointed?

Disappointed We’ve all been there.

The job interview, opening up your latest investment statement, stepping on the scale, receiving a gift, going on a date. You think one thing is going to happen and, uh oh, not what you expected.

Expectations unrealistic? Bar simply too high?

What to do?

You can replay the interview in your head…think of a better answer. Not open the financial statement until the recession is declared dead, stop eating, write Santa a better letter. The suggestions I made in cyberdating may be useful, you can reference those if you’d like.

Have I figured out how to do manage my expectations. Hmmm, not so much. But I am working on it. When I figure it out, I’ll get back to you.

Would have been great to have been able to dispense really, truly, foolproof, absolutely invaluable advice.

Hope you’re not disappointed.

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Under (the) wire?

Braless I read the article erase that panty line. I’ll admit to it.

Let’s be clear. It was less about whether or not my panty line shows. It was, I hoped, simply an easier way to get past the angst of having to GO to a lingerie shop. Just TELL me what to buy.

Really. Have you been to a lingerie shop recently?

What could possibly warrant having so many styles of undergarments? Are there that many different types of breasts?  As for panties, okay, that’s a tad more delicate. Thongs, bikini, below the navel, above the navel, nylon, cotton, spandex, edible. Choices, choices, choices.

But clearly, what we choose to wear beneath our clothes has further ramifications, doesn’t it?  “My clothes fit better.” Yeah, sure. Your mother’s words “what if you are taken to the emergency room?” but that meant, only, that your underwear be clean, not fancy.

So? Why? Because all of us, I imagine, have had that humbling experience when partially clad. Remember Bridget Jones? Remember shoulder pads? Stuffed under the bra strap, or worse, pinned to the bra strap. Looked like some flightless bird. And what about spanx? That work for you?

So, if you have any recommendations, thoughts or brands that work for you, here is your opportunity to share. As long as they are sold on line.

 

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Bothered and Bewildered?

Pessimism Do you set low expectations for yourself?  Do you create a detailed assessment of every possible thing that could possibly go wrong?

If you do, those are good things.

Really.

Do you feel comforted?

Julie K. Norem, PhD a professor of psychology at Wellesley College, has done seminal research on this subject and calls it “defensive pessimism.” It appears, she has determined, that “once people have imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they start figuring out how they’ll handle them, and that gives them a sense of control.”

Don’t you just love it? For every person that has said to you “look on the bright side,” you can now, without hesitation tell them to piss off. Research, you can tell them, supports your pessimistic outlook on life making you, ultimately, a happier person.

For your mental health pleasure I have included a “pessimism quiz” that will help you evaluate whether you are a defensive pessimist — your decisions leading you to positive outcomes — or simply the poster child for antidepressants.

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Rent a life

It appears to me that if one is savvy enough one can negotiate through life without committing to anyone or anything.

Here's how it works.

Attending a formal fete? Nothing to wear? No problem. Two enterprising young Harvard B school women have created a "rent a dress" company.  Beg your pardon, that's rent a haute couture dress. I am not exactly sure how one goes about knowing precisely what works without trying it and several billion other dresses on before one commits, but I am fairly confident those in the know, know.

And if you don't have a date, not to worry. Escort services abound. Or Heidi Fleiss, but I think she closed her business and has a cooking school in Nevada. Plus, it was my understanding, for those who teetered on the brink of commitment, they were pushed over the edge about the concept of "rent a man" after watching the movie starring Dermot Mulroney and Debra Messing, The Wedding Date.  But I digress.

Your Zip car whisks you home.

The event is over, the dress is mailed back, the escort is sent packing, and you can, if you wish,  curl up with your latest Netflix. Your evening is complete.

Foot loose and fancy free.

(more…)

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Screwing with Mickey

Get your lascivious fantasies under control, it's not what you might be thinking….I'm pretty certain, personally, I've never even met anyone named Mickey.

The Mickey that is being screwed with is our beloved, long venerated, multibillion dollar industry, lifelong iconic Mickey. 

No more Mr Nice Guy Mouse  Really? A snarkier, darker, more irreverent, Mickey? I wonder if Minnie was pushing this reincarnation. "Where's the edgier you, MIckey? You're just not doing it for me," she was heard to be lamenting.

I suppose, since Mickey's 80 years old now, left to his own devices he would have turned cantankerous. Isn't that what, eventually, we are all purported to do?

What's next? 

What else will Disney do to generate a renewed interest in their Brand?? Donald will admit that Huey, Dewey and Louie are actually his progeny since he was doing Daisy? Goofy will admit to moonlighting as the Big Bad Wolf? Videos of Annette and Frankie will surface, documenting their teenage squeaky clean image wasn't? 

Mess with success? Why not.

Consider New Coke, Tropicana's juice container and Crystal Pepsi, to name just a few that have been tinkered with.

 

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Cleaning up

Walked down the aisle in my supermarket, filled up my cart with, among other things, mayonnaise, white wine vinegar, baking powder, baking soda (what IS the difference?) checked out. Wondering what I am preparing to cook?

Not a thing.

I am preparing to attack my household stains. With home remedies that I found on line. Yeah, yeah, clearly have way too much time on my hands. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do and when the choices are to spend way too much money to have a professional come in, or resort to a fool's errand, why not pick the fool's errand?

So I did.

First off, the water stains on the dining room table. Apply mayonnaise, a heavy dollop, and leave it overnight. Okay. So I did. Overnight. Earlier in the evening however, I had my dry cleaning delivered. Not a word was uttered between myself and the delivery person. He looked at the table smeared with mayonnaise, I say nary a word. Thought to take out a can of tuna and place it on the table, but decided that might be a tad over the top. 

And no, the table is definitely shinier but the rings are still in evidence. 

Oh well.

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Anoint and slather away

Shar pei puppy2 but, if Momma was a wrinkly mess, well, chances are that you will be too. It’s hereditary.

 

The Loma Linda University Medical Center in California recently presented a study to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. “Using facial imaging and 3D computer modeling to study the aging process found that daughters’ faces tend to follow their mothers in terms of sagging and volume loss, particularly around the corners of their eyes and lower eyelids.” ‘

Bummer.

But for some lucky ladies, they have nothing to worry about.  They will age as gracefully and beautifully as their Moms. Aren’t they lucky?

Joan and melissa
Judd_family Cropped cher

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Working it out

Hard relationships Relationships are hard. Whether it is married folk, parent and child, business associates, singles,all are having to figure out what they need to do to find, keep or negotiate in order to achieve a successful relationship.

The amount of articles and books that have capitalized on this is astonishing. Okay, I”l bite… How astonishing? When I googled the topic achieving a successful relationship in 36 seconds Google had registered 11,000,000 responses. 11 million responses! Just to put this into perspective as to what people think is, I don’t know, interesting/newsworthy/read worthy, when I asked how many articles were associated with “should we commit troops in Afghanistan” it registered 6.5 million responses. Okay, back to the the 11 million.  That’s like every single person in New York City had a thought about this. Did you get a vote?

There certainly is enough “relationship specialists” out there aiding and abetting in how to negotiate bumps in the road, how to better communicate, how to interpret signals, how to, how to.

And, it’s BIG business. I mean, we are talking BIG bucks for those that have become the arbiter of what to say and what not to say, do and think. I am sure that we all can hear Dr Phil, every night, repeating the mantra, “thank you Oprah, thank you Oprah, thank you Oprah.” As he should, actually, twice a night.

I, sadly, don’t have any wisdom to dispense.  But, if you feel that you have some pearls to offer up, here is your forum. Dispense away.

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Talk too much?

Do you? 

Have you blown a job interview because you couldn't stop your stream of consciousness? Didn't have that second date because you clearly used up all of the words you were allotted in your lifetime on the first date? Find yourself conducting a conversation with a "wrong number," simply because they inadvertently dialed your number?

We've all been there, and done that. (Okay, maybe not you, but some of us). simply, inexplicably, unrelentingly, obsessively, blabbed on. How come?

I tried to find some scientific explanation. A hormone running rampant? A misfiring of a synapse? Personality Anxiety Disorder? Reverse Lockjaw?

In my poking around I did come across  a compulsive talking measurement test.  I kid you not. If you wish to take the test, go ahead. I, for one, am pretty clear that I don't want to know the result. 

Talking to yourself is okay. If you find yourself hanging on your every word, are sure that you haven't said it before, and can't wait to tell it to yourself again, maybe that's not such a bad thing.  

Or, you can opt for  Yogi Berra's, antidote for being accused of talking too much. He said "I didn't really say everything I said."

      

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Mensa for love?

I imagine most of us have, at one time or another, met someone who boasted a membership in Mensa. A quick overview is that it is for those who are deemed genuises. And can prove it.

And, for those of you who might have known what the Mensa organization stood for, but forgot (thereby immediately eradicating your membership) here is the url http://www.mensa.org

This story is about how to achieve membership in an elite organization if you didn't have the stuff to be a Mensa member. Really, you can still have the opportunity to be in and amongst a group of smarties.   

It is a new on line dating site called brainiacdating.com."

The tag line for this site is "where it is sexy to be smart."

I kid you not.

But being smart, in the Mensa (over 160 IQ sense of the word), is not a criteria for joining. I think inhaling and exhaling rhythmically, some ability to type, possibly even know how to spell, and  maybe be able to upload a picture are the only requirements. Frankly, not much different than the requirements for most of the other on line dating sites.

So what's the draw? 

Well, at this moment in time, it's free. 

And my experience tells me… what is that adage?… oh, yeah,  I remember, you get what you paid for.

 

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