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Meditation

Meditating or fantasizing I know the restorative value in being able to mediate. Not first hand, however.

Assuming you nodded in agreement, not about the restorative part, but the not experiencing it part, do you feel as I do, inadequate?
I’ve listened to friends espouse the positive effects of meditation. They feel cleansed, more aware, more focused, more certain. So, I try…yet again.

 

I have taken classes. I assume the posture, close my eyes, take deep cleansing breaths, and then open one eye to see what everyone else is doing. Okay, okay, I close my eyes again, resume my breathing only to yet again surreptitiously peer, from beneath veiled lids, to see if anyone else is sneaking glances too.

 

When alone, with no reason to sneak glances, I opt for the lying on my back maneuver. Again, with the cleaning breaths, the visualization, the clearing of the mind ritual. Nada, nil, zip, zero. Did I pay that bill, return that call, reorganize my underwear drawer?  My mind is flooded with random and inane thoughts.

 

But I’ll persevere.  Or alternatively, I can medicate, which is really quite close to meditate, I mean what’s a consonant here or there, to achieve the desired state of euphoria, peace and tranquility.
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If Oprah says so and Barbara says so

Must it be true? I think that up there with the Disciples, what these two utter is as good as the Gospel.
Okay, except for Oprah's snafu with James Frey's book "A Million Little Pieces." But, I understand, they kissed and made up. And, she was forgiven for her trespass. Anyway…

The endorsement, it seems, is for a product called Resveratol. If you have alot of time on your hands right now, you might want to watch this segment from 60 minutes Drink to Your Health.

Water is usually the touted beverage of choice, it hydrates, cleanses, and costs zero. Unless you are a designer water drinker, which makes absolutely no sense to me, and you pay for your hydration.

This new life prolonging, anti aging promise comes to us from the properties within red wine. As Morley so aptly points out, we've known for a short while what the French have known forever. Red wine is good for you. It's a property within the wine that seems to have been extracted, soon to be in a little pill form, that these scientists are all excited about. As they should be, the fountain of youth formula portends a great deal of compensation. Really, would Ponce de Leon have ventured into the open seas if not for some vague notion about his mortality? He never found it, by the way, but he did find Florida, the mecca for the aging. Do you see the irony there?

Right now, it appears that one would have to drink about 1000 bottles a day to achieve the effect the scientists are working on in the lab. Since that's about 999 more than I am capable of imbibing, I just will have to wait.

In the meantime, L'Chaim, Salud, Skoal, Cheers.

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Frequent fliers

Have you considered flying Ryanair?  
Have you heard of Ryanair?  

No? Well, if one of their proposed new plans for their passengers takes effect, you might become very aware of who they are. More to the point, if their proposed plan is adopted by other carriers you'll know, precisely, who to blame.

It seems, as reported in USA Today, that Ryanair CEO declared we are serious about a toilet fee.
A toilet fee? 

Thinking about it some more, I reasoned that being charged for the use of a public toilet in Europe is not terribly unusual. Fumbling around your change purse, trying to differentiate the coins, shifting vigorously around, crossing and uncrossing your legs, all in an attempt to maintain your dignity is certainly a challenge, but you do, in fact succumb and pay the charge. That's because the line is orderly, the bathroom at ground level, and a hand towel is offered to you for your convenience. 

So, when packing for your next trip, consider what you might want to eat, and pack it for yourself, evaluate your air sickness propensity and stock up on your Dramamine, and slip into a swim diaper, Depends, or some other such thing, close your eyes and enjoy your flight.
 
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Detouring

Semi retired This article, finding new energy by detouring from the fast track, caused me a wee bit of angst.

I mean, fast track???

 

Not so sure about that descriptor, and if it applies to most of us mere mortals, but the idea of taking a detour or two seemed to be intriguing, nonetheless.

 

The consequences of a mid twenty/thirty year old taking time off might not seem to them too fraught with negatives (except for their immediate family members who will be beyond insane about this decision).
It’s the “late in their career group” that seem to be exploring this phenomena.

 

Is this a trial run for retirement? I suspect so.

 

A put your toe into the water maneuver, try alittle of this and alittle of that. Am I altruistic, one wonders? A do gooder in disguise?  Have I forgotten how many children I have, their names and what they do? I’ll take the time to reacquaint myself with them.

 

Certain, I would think, that this, for the progeny, is not their objective or wish.

 

The fall back of having your job waiting for you makes this exploration easier. Sort of like living with your honey before you tie the knot. Or, taking a cruise before you move into the over 55 year old retirement community.

 

So detour, sabbatical, exploration has become the way to go. As for being a “fast tracker”, you could call yourself Sun King. After all, if you are no longer there to defend that you deserved that title, who’s to know?
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School redeux

While I was sitting on the train the other day, I saw a young woman furiously underlining, with her yellow neon marker, the text of her book. Now, I don't know about you, but this act has always rendered me paralyzed. 

No, actually, taking notes in class rendered me paralyzed. Underlining caused major angst. Clearly, I have little, if any, ability to feel confident in deciding what is absolutely, without question, categorically, the most important sentences within the text I am reading. I feel similarly when sitting in a roomful of folks who, with pens poised, are furiously taking notes as the lecturer lectures. The others are writing now…did I miss something? Was that important? Are they doodling, like I am, so I look like I am note taking?

But, apparently, this is not as daunting a task, as reported by the Times.  Older, and Wiser Students  are actively and aggressively seeking classes, if not graduate programs, and enrolling in droves.  Intellectual curiosity, socialization, passions to revisit courses avoided the first go around, are all the motivators.

So, for me, if underlining and note taking are not part of the curriculum, simply sitting back, listening intently and being flooded with new information is  the catalog course description, sign me up. I'm there, certainly older, soon to be wiser.
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Network Marketing

Are you picturing a group of individuals, gathered at a cocktail party, making small talk, handing out their business cards, connecting?

You’d be wrong.

Well, half wrong. These folk would be connecting, but they wouldn’t be handing out business cards. More likely than not it would be a product. Remember Tupperware Parties? Well, welcome to the 21st century.
The “party” has morphed into “network marketing.”

 

The Times devoted a huge article to this latest incarnation of the “party” of yore. A Chocolate, With Amway Undertones, Networks Its Way Into New York. Frankly, it wasn’t the Network comment that made me read the article, it was the word Chocolate.

 

Chocolate, you see, is one of my favorite food groups. Along with red wine, chocolate has been in the news a great deal lately.Chocolate choices  Good for you, not good for you, good for you. What’s a person to do?
So, I read the Times article to see if there was any latest info on why I can go ahead and indulge.
,
This specific chocolate, Xocai, was loaded with more antioxidants, they claimed, then three heads of spinach. My only pause for thought was trying a product I couldn’t pronounce. Having said that, eating chocolate three times a day works for me. Sadly, it seems that the researchers queried about this claim seem to be less convinced as to its health benefits. Oh, well, too bad.

 

Having no interest in the Ponzi/Pyramid scheme ( the goal is to get others to sell for you), I am interested in being courted and wooed so I can sample to my hearts content. Let me know if you know of a gathering.
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Love Italian Style

When Bill Clinton had his, ahem, dalliance  Woody Allen made a terrific observation. It was something along the lines of "if this was Italy, they wouldn't be prosecuting him, they'd be building him a monument. I'm certain the direct quote is funnier, but you get the idea.

So when I read the article A Prime Minister's Escapades Finally Raise Some Eyebrows in Italy I wondered what had changed.

Apparently, this headline was more provocative than the body copy. While there are lots of pokes and jabs, questions raised, innuendos, comparisons to Nero, etc., the consensus seems to be that he will continue to govern, virtually unopposed. 

So, what did I find newsworthy? There was a fairly provocative comment, halfway through the article, that stopped me cold.

"In what many see as a sign of Mr Berlusconi's grip on the levers of power in Italy and the Vatican, the Italian Bishops Conference this week essentially gave him a pass, or at least a no comment, calling for 'adult behavior' but saying THAT EACH PERSON'S CONDUCT WAS A MATTER OF 'INDIVIDUAL CONSCIENCE'."

So, I guess that means that the Bishops are moving towards the concept of pro choice. Woody, your thoughts?

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Monuments to Love

If you've been to India and had the chance to gaze, no doubt in awe, at the site of the Taj Mahal (or perhaps you saw  Slumdog Millionaire, which really shouldn't count in the gazing upon category) then you would know that Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan  built it in memory of his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. Okay, I didn't know the names of either of them, either.

And so it goes that, since time immemorial, man has erected (is there a pun here?) monuments to themselves, think The Donald, or to their beloved. Or, perhaps to both.

Such was my reaction when I saw this article For God and Susan in the home section of the Times.
Did you open the link? Do so, I'll wait.

Most of my friends who are in relationships are delirious where their partner hangs a picture, shelf or
curtain rod.

Now the catch, as I read this article, was the seemingly banal mention of two things.
One was that this was his second marriage. The other was a quote from the Dr. himself…  "the heart of what I'm trying to say with my decorative art is that morality is accepting the consequences of your action, which no one is willing to do these days."  Repentance and resisting temptations, says the article are constant themes.

So then, if you think that your loved one seems to be feeling the pull of infidelity,  get thee to a Home Depot for the paint chips, moldings and decorative hardware. Couldn't hurt.

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What was I saying?

And, if you want to help me remember, don't offer me anything to eat.

Lithe, and whippet sharp. Nice combo don't you think?

But who, in the throws of forgetting just about everything, mostly nouns it seems, wouldn't want to take a bite, or two, of something delicious, to pass the time while recalling where the car keys might be. Not so, say the scientists- another potential benefit of cutting calories: better memory.

To add insult to injury, it appears that another study, reminders of age undermine memory, suggested that thinking that you are losing your memory, because you are aging, does undermine your own performance.

So then, the obvious take away is….

You say aloud, "it's great to be 35",  as you eat that piece of cake, while you are standing, right in front of the open door of the refrigerator, because everyone knows that calories don't count unless you are sitting at a table, using a knife, fork or spoon.

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CSI

Here's a not so deep, but nonetheless, dark secret.

If I am trolling the channels, I will almost always stop on one of the CSI programs, settle in, hunker down and spend the next hour happily involved in the who, how and why of the crime world.

For those of you who are my more elitist pals- you know- the NPR and Channel 13 only crowd, CSI stands for Crime Scene Investigation. 

I think, at this moment in time, the series takes place in New York, Miami, the Navy (wherever they live) and Florence, Italy. Okay, I made up the Florence one, but the thought of the team of forensic specialists crawling around the Uffizi, after having had lunch at La Vecchia Bettola seems to have high appeal, don't you think?

Anyway, I, as you, get hundreds of spam emails daily. My body parts are all the right size, thank you very much, and my bank account information is sacred, so delete, delete. But this week when I received this email, "Want to be a Detective and a Scientist? opened it, read it and did everything in my power to stop myself from signing up. (If you want the link, I'd be happy to oblige).

Maybe it's time to rethink my TV viewing options. Perhaps, I could be the next aging American Idol. Alternatively, maybe I am, clearly, the poster girl, for "Lost". 
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