relationships
fine tuning
random thoughts

Writing an online profile

Probably one of the more challenging parts of posting a profile on one of these on line dating sites is finding the singular, compelling, enticing, provocative lure to provoke the reader to respond.

I found it.

According to Lauren P. Wallner, a doctoral student at the University of Michigan, Vital Signs:  Screenings: Partners and Prostate Cancer found that men who live on their own are less likely to be screened for prostate cancer.

Now, I am not sure exactly how to work that into my profile text. "Live with me and live longer." Mmm, no. "I'll know if it's working properly?" Nah, perhaps a tad too provocative for that forum…"Cocktails, dinner, dessert and a PSA screening?"

I'll work on this.

I am pretty sure that by the time I come up with how I best think I need to compose this, the 60 something year olds, that think they are 50 something year olds, will be 70 year olds and see the absolute rational of responding to me.

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Advice

Gotta love the advice of friends.

"When you're feeling the effects of gravity," said Gloria, "stand on your head."

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Late Achievers

This article was a hoot. Ideas & Trends: Throne Occupied; Try a Comfy Recliner. Prince Charles, the author tells us, has recently turned 60. So, amongst and between other monikers, his latest handle is Boomer.

King, apparently and alas, still eludes him.

The basic gist of the article, as I interpreted it, was while Charles has been the brunt of jokes for the better part of his life, wiling away his time gardening, puttering and christening ships, the best is yet to come. After all, at some point, unless his mother out lives him, he will be King. Just think, a new career
when he is in his 70's, or 80's. As the author of the article, Ms. Pennebaker so aptly puts it, "do you have bigger plans for your own 80th birthday than a coronation?"

So this got me thinking.

As I consider what the ensuing years are going to look like for me, I'm pretty certain that a coronation doesn't seem to be in the cards. Unless, of course, that Prince does come.

So I did a little exploration of who were the delayed (nice term, don't you think) achievers.

In the fast food world we have Colonel Sanders (KFC) and Ray Kroc (McDonalds).  Artists and scientists, Grandma Moses, Darwin (who wrote his first book in his fifties) to name a few.

I am pretty realistic about my latent talents.

Maybe I could be Clara Pella. She was in her 70's, I believe, when she achieved immortality by uttering the line "Where's the Beef?" 

Okay, maybe not.

But I'm working on it. Pretty clear a comfy recliner is not part of my plan.

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Old friends

Some people have classmates.com, or the alumni network, newsletters from camps attended, all in order to keep up with old friends.

I have the on line dating sites.

As I scroll through the profiles I see that “Mr. I’m Beyond Exceptional” has added pictures of his grandchildren. “Mr. Forever Ageless” is now riding a Harley. “Mr. Slender Woman Only Need Apply” has not aged. I don’t mean visually. I mean his listed age. He has been 60 for 3 years now.

So, I think, good for them, moving forward in their lives. Almost want to send a card of acknowledgment and congratulations.

Maybe next year.

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21st c language 101

Amongst the many recommendations for keeping your memory sharp is to do crossword puzzles.
The  New York Times crossword keeps me pretty sharp.

Except when it makes me feel like a dinosaur.

 A recent puzzle asked for the  online shorthand for "if you ask me."  It wasn't iyam which I imagine was already registered to Popeye. The correct answer was imho.  For those of you who have a burning desire to know, it stands for In My Humble Opinion.

The url http://www.netlingo.com is now my new best friend. And when I figure out if I want to Twitter, or more importantly why Twitter, or how to Twitter, I can use this site to help me maintain the no more than 140 character limit.

So now, you can be right there with the rest of the on line world.

iyswim.

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Infidelity on the upswing?

The science section of the New York Times (October 28th, 2008)  posted an article that captured my fancy.   "Love, sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity." It appears that cheating is on the rise (is there a second pun here?)

 What was of particular interest to me was the following:

 "University of Washington Researchers have found that the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991."

What accounted for this, the researchers surmised, was that with all the erectile dysfunction drugs, the estrogen and testosterone supplements, the lotions and potions for vaginal health and lastly, knee and hip replacements were all contributing factors that have changed the dynamic of sexual activity.

As for why there is an increase of infidelity, rather than reports of a more robust sex life with one's partner, didn't seem to be the point of this particular article.

So for those looking for a little action on the side, it appears that  the place to go for ogling, flirting, posturing and winking, is not some darkened bar somewhere but CVS, Duane Reade or RiteAid.

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Bargain Botox

Don’t throw away your Valpak envelope without looking inside!!

It seems that it is quite possible amongst and between the various coupons for Tide, Charmin and Yo Plait, you might find coupons for Botox, Restalyne and other plumping agents, with discounts offered from 10 to 30 percent off.

Printable botox, mavis Not kidding.

It appears, according to an article I read in the style section of the New York Times on Nov. 9th 2008,  that plastic surgeons, in these trying economic times, are looking for creative marketing strategies to stimulate business.

Makes sense to me.

Wouldn’t you rather gaze upon a  sea of expressionless folks reading their latest financial statements, rather than seeing, up close and personal, what horror looks like?

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In tribute to Bea Arthur and a nod to Candace Bushnell

I always was a fan of Bea Arthurs’.

The character Maude certainly epitomized the Boomer generation.
Norman Lear wrote her as a woman struggling with marriage, divorce, her daughter, abortion, aging…all the issues we may have, at one time or another, grappled with.

We met her again as Dorothy, living in retirement splendor, sharing her life with Blanche, Sophia and Rose.

And if you think about it, these four Golden Girls have the exact same character traits as Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, respectively. Exactly the same.

I suppose then, in around thirty or so years, we’ll see the Sex and the City stars sharing a condo in Miami.

By then, I imagine, Candace Bushnell will have made another bundle chronicling the lives of Archie and Edith during the early days of their courtship.

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Does spelling count…

A recurring theme for me will be this "does spelling count."

In the on line personals you get lots of stories that are varied and interesting and compelling.
Then you get to read ones that leave you baffled and chuckling.

These are absolutely unedited. Precisely as they were written… I couldn't make it up.

"love to dance outside person animal lover im domesticated like to travel good time person
i like my job like the islands im not a book reader."

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Estrogen challenged

As our estrogen levels dwindle away, some of us have heeded the advice of our physicians, concurred with the current literature, and determined that hormone replacement therapy is not an option.

I am one of those women.

So, for the past few years, or so, I have watched in both horror and fascination as my body continues to change. Having a vague recollection of my own puberty, I can recall the exuberance of the new additions…but, what had been given, it seems, is now rapidly being taken away.

Not an exhaustive list, but one that includes, loss of memory, a shrinking frame and thinning pubic hair. This following passage, excerpted from Medscape reported "narrowing vaginal introitis, petechiae of vaginal tissues, and loss of ruga."

I have absolutely no idea exactly what any of that really means.

I can assure you, however, that if I knew I had a ruga, I wouldn't have wanted to lose it.

But, then again, if my memory is slipping, perhaps I did know I had a ruga and only thought I misplaced it.

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