The following is a conversation (verbatim) I had with an acquaintance, this past weekend.

"I know, it's a bit insane" she said.
"What's insane?" I asked.
"As soon as you notice the dates on the newspaper I am reading" she responded, "you'll think I'm insane." So I said, "okay, I'll bite, what's the date of that specific newspaper you are reading, and I might as well ask about the rest of them in that pile next to you."

"June 2008", she said.

I know it's probably bad form to say, "yup, that's insane."  I opted for a "well, it is a tad eccentric."
"I know" she said, "but it's a thing I do, I must read every word of every paper, and I sometimes fall behind."
"But, she added, gotta tell you, the news was much better then."

I guess it might be hard for her to have a pithy conversation at a cocktail party, water cooler or some such gathering place, about what's currently happening…but she'd be great in giving some historical perspective, wouldn't she?

And so I loved the article in August's Vanity Fair Magazine, What's A Culture Snob To Do?  If, in fact, we are judged (somewhat, but more often than not) by what we are reading, the age of the Kindle, iphone, and any other electronic media, has denied us the opportunity of being instantly judgmental.

Don't agree?

When was the last time you espied a really really attractive person,observed them as they retrieved a book from their bag, and, much to your dismay (you were hoping for something that would, perhaps, prompt a conversation), saw they were reading, something along the lines of, Bridges of Madison County, the sequel. Unless, of course,that person opposite you was Clint Eastwood.

Yes, I am that shallow.

Anyway, if I can't make snap judgments about you by what you are reading anymore, I'll have to rely on something else. Maybe the fact that you have your iPhone, iPod, your Kindle and your laptop all spread before you says all I need to know about you.

Well, it clearly isn't going to happen from the Stock Market, at least these days, so folks are needing to be pretty clever as to how to maintain their life style and have enough for their retirement.

To that end, some pretty lucky Lottery playing individual is now the proud recipient of 133 million bucks. Assuming they know they won and come forward to claim their bounty. Would be a sad state of affairs if they lost their ticket on the way out of the convenience store. Why that might prompt a name change to the inconvenience store.

As far as winning the lottery, in reality the odds of hitting the big, huge, Mega Millions jackpot are something along the lines of 176 million to 1. When queried about why people would think that the odds of winning are in their favor, regardless of the statistics against it, Richard Wiseman, a professor of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, in England, wrote "People play the lottery, in general because they think they're special." I don't know about that, I think I am pretty special, but if the odds of dying are greater than the odds of winning, how special could I be?

I found another plan.

Have an affair with an elected official. A senator might be a good choice.

Apparently, Senator John Ensign's parents gave his mistress thousands. Ninety six thousand to be exact. Senator Ensign, a republican from Nevada, was involved in a little hanky panky from December 2007 to August 2008. His mistress had 6 months work for 100 grand. Not a bad return on investment.

Of course, I can't imagine being the recipient of that kind of largesse myself. While still pretty feisty, my ingenue days are long gone, I'm afraid.

But since it did happen in Nevada, land of legalized gambling, perhaps you'd like to engage, with me, in a game of Bingo, twenty-one, blackjack, or craps? "C'mon, roll 'em."

Well, almost.

The Times article that I read, As People Age…. was attempting to determine if an aging brain responds differently than a younger brain to a promise of rewards. The volunteers were playing on line computer games. Their responses were measured when they anticipated winning money and when they actually did win money.

It appears that the brain responds differently to dopamine, a chemical messenger, as we age.
The result, they surmised, is a mellower older individual. The highs may not be as high, but neither are the lows as low.

Hmm, not so sure. It seemed to me that the flaw in the study might have been the decision to use on line computer games. How many of us really really feel highly stimulated by playing on line games?? Did the idea of winning money really motivate? Doesn't do much for me. Ho hum, yawn.

Had the reward been a really hunky, Erica Jong type fantasy (refer to her book, Fear Of Flying if you don't know what I am referring to…) would the results of the study been different?

Maybe not, but then again, they'd probably get more volunteers.

Last observations.

*Buying delicious Italian wine, grown in the region, not for export, leaving you with nary a headache in the morning, and costing less than 4 euros a bottle, is beyond wonderful.

*Preparing your own feast, with local products, bought at individual shops (macellaio/butcher; vedura/vegetable; pasticceria/bakery) in any hilltown you come upon,knowing that pointing at what you want, if the word in Italian can’t be retrieved, is met with a smile and the word supplied, all this at no extra charge.

And happening upon local ceremonies . Since we could not determine, from anyone, what this particular ceremony was about, I thought it aptly dubbed, by my friend David, to be the
Procession of Our Lady of the Upholstery. Worked for me.

Linda’s wrong about the Capri and God thing, Umbria is where he/she summers.

*Ciliege (cherries) picked and eaten directly from the tree is almost a religious experience. Should I make this an R rated blog…hmmm, maybe not.

*I actually am convinced that I speak Italian. I arranged with a local merchant to have someone pick truffles for us, and we would purchase them from her, on Friday. Alternatively, I may have let her know I am joining a convent.

*I have become incredibly adept at washing down the walls of every bathroom I have been in since I have never mastered, or frankly understood, the concept of a hand held shower and no shower curtain.