A recurring theme for me will be this "does spelling count."

In the on line personals you get lots of stories that are varied and interesting and compelling.
Then you get to read ones that leave you baffled and chuckling.

These are absolutely unedited. Precisely as they were written… I couldn't make it up.

"I am a gentle humble guy who sees treating a woman right has a duty, obligation and hobby."

I'm sure you've met this guy.

Here's what happens. He's gazed at your profile, wrote you a lovely note, you responded and then…

He writes again, you answer, numbers are exchanged, calls are made.
The laughs are easy and frequent, the overlaps of interests, ethics, dreams and schemes unparalleled and the enthusiasm builds. "I'll call you, write you, text you as to where and when we should have our first (and hopefully) last date," he says.

This is apparently when the chains, trunks and water tanks must arrive.  For,
inexplicably, eerily and mind bogglingly, nary a future word. Poof, gone.

So the only logical explanation has to be that they, alas, failed to wiggle
their way from the confines of their shackles, are still picking the lock, or have moved from this trunk into, yet, another box of some sort.

Perhaps, he will resurface, flush with the experience and ready with the explanations of why the disappearance.

More likely, not.

So, with a giggle and a shrug it's back to the online search.

In the meanwhile, wondering if someday when purchasing that container of milk I will see his smiling face on the side of the carton.

Probably one of the more challenging parts of posting a profile on one of these on line dating sites is finding the singular, compelling, enticing, provocative lure to provoke the reader to respond.

I found it.

According to Lauren P. Wallner, a doctoral student at the University of Michigan, Vital Signs:  Screenings: Partners and Prostate Cancer found that men who live on their own are less likely to be screened for prostate cancer.

Now, I am not sure exactly how to work that into my profile text. "Live with me and live longer." Mmm, no. "I'll know if it's working properly?" Nah, perhaps a tad too provocative for that forum…"Cocktails, dinner, dessert and a PSA screening?"

I'll work on this.

I am pretty sure that by the time I come up with how I best think I need to compose this, the 60 something year olds, that think they are 50 something year olds, will be 70 year olds and see the absolute rational of responding to me.

Some people have classmates.com, or the alumni network, newsletters from camps attended, all in order to keep up with old friends.

I have the on line dating sites.

As I scroll through the profiles I see that “Mr. I’m Beyond Exceptional” has added pictures of his grandchildren. “Mr. Forever Ageless” is now riding a Harley. “Mr. Slender Woman Only Need Apply” has not aged. I don’t mean visually. I mean his listed age. He has been 60 for 3 years now.

So, I think, good for them, moving forward in their lives. Almost want to send a card of acknowledgment and congratulations.

Maybe next year.

The science section of the New York Times (October 28th, 2008)  posted an article that captured my fancy.   "Love, sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity." It appears that cheating is on the rise (is there a second pun here?)

 What was of particular interest to me was the following:

 "University of Washington Researchers have found that the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991."

What accounted for this, the researchers surmised, was that with all the erectile dysfunction drugs, the estrogen and testosterone supplements, the lotions and potions for vaginal health and lastly, knee and hip replacements were all contributing factors that have changed the dynamic of sexual activity.

As for why there is an increase of infidelity, rather than reports of a more robust sex life with one's partner, didn't seem to be the point of this particular article.

So for those looking for a little action on the side, it appears that  the place to go for ogling, flirting, posturing and winking, is not some darkened bar somewhere but CVS, Duane Reade or RiteAid.

A recurring theme for me will be this "does spelling count."

In the on line personals you get lots of stories that are varied and interesting and compelling.
Then you get to read ones that leave you baffled and chuckling.

These are absolutely unedited. Precisely as they were written… I couldn't make it up.

"love to dance outside person animal lover im domesticated like to travel good time person
i like my job like the islands im not a book reader."

Have you ever been to Loehmann's?

Designer clothes, they tout, for discounted prices. Not having the resources for couture, it's a reasonable alternative to find something special.
Okay, a button is missing, it's slightly soiled, it's been tried on a zillion times. But I think, as I select something from the rack, maybe this is the exact thing I am looking for.
So, I'll have to sew the button back on, I'll get it cleaned, I'll take it in a bit, let it out a bit, it's a tad short, I'll wear flats.

It's just like on line dating.

This is what I'll  keep in mind as I go through the pages and pages of profiles.
Think Loehmann's, I say to myself. Perhaps, you'll find the one that hasn't been too picked over, has only been on the rack for a minute, all it's buttons are tightly sewn and, maybe, this is the one timeless, elegant, comfortable companion piece that I have been searching for.