I was there, at the first reading of the Ephron sisters staging of “Love, Loss and What I Wore.”

Which is probably totally irrelevant, other than demonstrating that I do get out, from time to time.

Anyhow, the biggest laugh of the evening was the line “When your start wearing Eileen Fisher, you might as well say, “I give up.” Apparently, the Times thought it a quote worthy line, too.

Are there no young chubbettes anymore? Has the obesity statistics been a lie? As the Market goes up are clothing sizes going down? Where are we heading?  Oh, dear.

C’mon Eileen. Rethink your plan.

There is comfort in knowing that you can swath yourself in layer upon layer of fabric, drape a scarf, oh so carefully and dramatically around your neck, add a piece of clunky jewelry, sandals and be ready to face the world. Announcing, with that outfit, that you probably have gained 10 to 15 pounds, nothing fits and your sweats clothes are nowhere to be found. But your are chic. And, additionally, must be fairly prosperous because you can afford the Eileen Fisher look.

So, then, farewell to the Eileen Fisher look of yore. Get that diet plan, gym membership and hair dye out of storage. Prepare for the biker jacket and metallic vest look. It’s the new you.