dating

A triathlete? A decathlete? Is decathlete a word? Sounds good.

Me neither. But you knew that.

So what gives with the question? I've been asked by a few friends to help them write an online dating profile. Why me is baffling, clearly having not succeeded, thus far, in that maneuver, but never daunted by any challenge I acquiesed and agreed.

First thing, I suggested, is to go online, click on those folks that fall within the "hmmm, maybe" category for you and read what they say they might be looking for in a partner. "Sure, I can do that," they say. "Make a list of their verbs (wining, dining, hopping, skipping,)  and adjectives (nice, gentle, kind)" , for example, was my next directive. Synthesize it down to one sentence.

Okay, you know where this is going, don't you?

Right you are…Male seeking a Bionic women in a little black dress. 

"Does setting a record for the most diets started fall into any category?" "Not since liposuction was invented," I say. "Let's go deeper."  

"Maneuver number 2. There is a place for you to type in a 'key word' some trait that you want him to have. Then look at what else his profile says." 

And there you have it… Bionic in a little black dress who likes to travel. Bionic in a little black dress who reads Proust. Bionic in a little black dress who cooks.

"This isn't easy," they lament. "Think of this as part of the challenge, like dragon slaying" I respond.

Clearly, the last alternative is to simply create a profile describing yourself as the person you are. What a concept. If that works for them, I'll let you know. Not optimisitc. If you are bionic and wear a little black dress, cook, travel and read Proust, send on your rejects. I'll pass them along.

 

Do you read the women's sports pages? The New York Times refers to it as The Sunday Styles Section. Can you imagine that?

Anyway, it's the Times' play by play of life in the fast lane.  The ultimate scorecard is how many fetes one can attend, coupled with who wed whom.

There are pages and pages devoted to marriage announcements. Additionally, there is always a highlighted story, I think it is called modern vows, that gives an in depth back story, apparently worthy of devoting paragraphs to explain.

They met, they dated, they broke up, they reconnected, they broke up again, they married others, they reunited, they wed. They lived happily ever after. We hope, because we really don't know, except that every so often the Times revisits these highlighted stories to see how the marriage held up. Some well, alas, others, not so well.

Too bad.

But, as to the stories about folks who knew one an other in an earlier lifetime, parted and then found one another for a second go around, I thought maybe I should revisit ghosts from my past.

The major challenge was,  of course, remembering names.

So, with a little Google look here, and a facebook look there, e i e i o, (too much time with grandbabies??) I came up pretty empty. Did they all the guys from my past fall off the earth? Did I only know non accomplished people? Are they so wildly successful that they live anonymously? Did I actually remember the right names?

But then,  I thought, was there actually a first go around worthy of a second go around? Hmmm, not so much.

However, if someone from my past is reading this, and thinks we actually did have a connection once, wishes for a waltz down memory lane…..I'm here.

Helluva headline. 

It was one of many absolutely incongruous, to me anyway, sentences in this aforementioned article Testing Evolution's Role in Finding a Mate.  

The article begins reasonably, with an explanation of scientist's prior belief that mate selection is evolutionary. "Women have a vested interest in reproduction, hence they don't want to select a dud for a mate." Liked the way that sounded, but witnessed by the divorce rate, single parenting and the like, it appears that evolution has, for sometime now, lost ground as an argument. 

The article goes on to talk about how Speed Dating is a living laboratory to test new hypotheses about mating. In one case, the scientists were looking to see whether men or women were choosier. Speed Dating, for those not in the know, is musical chairs without the music. But with the chairs. You move from one chair to another, face to face with a stranger for 3 minutes, move to the next chair and the next person. At the end of this totally ridiculous activity, you apparently then let it be known whom you would
like to see/speak to/sit opposite/again. It went on to talk about more research that made absolutely no sense. Example, men's preferences for occupation, height and smoking had little effect on whom they asked out. 

Would what the woman looked like be a factor???? 

The only substantive piece of info I gained from this particular article was about being fixed up as a way to meet people. Oh, it wasn't the being fixed up that was substantive information….it was the "if you know 20 people and each of them knows 20 other people, and each of them knows 20 other people you are connected to 8,000 people. 

20 to the third power is 8000. I may need that info someday. 

I’m Liz Gerson Glatzer.

Richard a and liz1  Having recently turned 60 (how long can one use the word recently, do you think?) I have the dubious distinction of being part of the first generation of Baby Boomers.

I went to Wikipedia, not exactly the arbiter of always accurate information (gotta love alliteration) to see, nonetheless, what the conventional wisdom might be about us.
We were born in the 40’s, came of age in the 60’s. Spent the next 20 years either marrying and having children, building careers, or both. Now, reported Wikipedia “they are in a state of denial regarding their own aging and death and are leaving an undue economic burden on their children for their retirement and care.”

Yup, all the above applies. I’m a Boomer.

And then I thought that the 30, 40 and 50 year olds that I know are also wrestling with the same issues us 60 somethings are…Dating, for some of us;  sustaining a terrific marriage, or grappling with marriage, for others of us;  the effects of gravity, for all of us.

Having said that, it seemed to me if we could share our thoughts we could chuckle our way into the next decade, or two, and beyond.

The comment link is to share your stories, which I really invite you to do.

Hope that you enjoy my streams of consciousness.

So, let’s begin.

 

Cartoon images on aMusingBoomer are from Cartoonstock.com

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