In better late than never I admitted, somewhat reluctantly, that I am late to the game in the technology environment.

Nonetheless, when I read about some technological update that is available I wistfully think, if I knew how to load that, use that, banish it if I hate it, I'd download it.

Here's one, though, that I know I should look into. Coupons for the iphone.

I might have wanted to use a coupon, once upon a time, in the early days of coupon redemption, pre scanners, but remember the eyes of the people behind the person, rummaging in their purse, wallet, pant pockets, burning holes into the persons' back, having to wait their turns, while the myopic check out clerk looked for the expiration date. "This is invalid" she snarled. "It expired yesterday." 

That was it for me.

Now it appears, you can have coupons sent to your cellphone not only avoiding the wrath, but basking in the awe of those behind you, clearly admiring your technological wizardry. 

Until, of course, the technology fails.

Richard Russo in the prologue of his novel "Straight Man" writes…"I just want to be entertained… I agree with the premise, and I too just want to be entertained. I am almost never entertained by what entertains other people who just want to be entertained doesn't make us philosophically incompatible. It just means that we shouldn't go to movies together."

I loved those lines. I love all his writing, but I particularly loved those lines.

Haven't you opted out of going to see a "dark, heavy, intense, difficult" piece of theater, or movie, with the explanation that you wanted to be "entertained." Then, of course, you feel compelled to qualify that statement with all sorts of disclaimers. "I had a tough day, week, month, year…my co workers have been impossible, difficult, trying, demanding and my love life is stalled, frustrating, challenging, disturbing" all in the hope that you won't be judged as being an intellectual lightweight.

Why is that?

Fear of being mute at a dinner party? Being stopped by Leno, in his man on the street segment, and not knowing any answers?  Leaving gaping holes in your crossword puzzle? Not getting on Jeopardy?

Probably not.

Just have a differing of opinion about what you find entertaining.

It was Einstein (yes, that Einstein) who said:  “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”

Aren’t we glad that he uttered this statement just a few minutes before he came up with the Theory of Relativity. Really, where would we have been if he had heeded his own words and stopped what he was doing?

It appears, however,  that along with those folk who are deemed insane due to, I don’t know, maybe  genetic imbalances, there is another factor at play. It’s stress.

Apparently, the brain when responding to stress releases chemicals into the blood system that, in addition to wrecking havoc on your organs, causes a mechanism triggering you to repeat an action, repeat an action, repeat an action, repeat an action, without being able to stop, repeat an action.

But there is good news.

The circuitry that goes into overdrive can be reversed. One simply has to eliminate the stress. That’s pretty easy to do. Take an extended vacation, for example. Just don’t come back.

Have you had this experience?

I'll be sauntering down the street, ipod in my ears,  listening to a particularly wonderful piece of Latin music, when all of a sudden, I visualize myself in the arms of some incredibly gifted salsa dancer, there we are moving as one, with extraordinary grace and panache, ultimately causing those who were dancing along with us to stop, stare and, as we do our final twirl, break out in thunderous applause. 

I don't dance salsa. But, in my mind's eye…

It's Wimbledon, there I am, on center court, it's a tie breaker, I am returning the last serve of the last set of the last match. Game, set, match. Leaping over the net, raising my hands in victory, waving at the crowd. Deafening cheers.

This is really scare stuff.

Gail Collins, one of my favorite columnists, couldn't have been more spot on. A reality show celebrity, by her definition, should be "one of the lesser Baldwin brothers," right?

As positively embarrassing as it is, I can't imagine that we should be particularly concerned if the world is watching…After all we have Silvio Berlusconi cavorting with reckless abandon, Carla Bruni impersonating a first lady (right down to her Jackie O outfit when she met the Queen) and a general overall worldwide relief that as long as we don't have Bush in the White House the Americans must be doing something right.

So, in addition to "Dancing With The Stars," I think that the current TV network executives should seriously consider bringing back "I've Got A Secret."

If you recall, the panel tried to guess what  the "secret" talent of the "guest" might be. Think of the what kind of questions could be asked to illicit the secret.  Palin is the Governor of Alaska. She has been asked to run alongside McCain. This hasn't been announced yet. Her secret..she has the goods to do this.

A perfectly sensible way to vett out our future elected officials. You think of the possibilities. Cha Cha Cha