relationships
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Mating Requires Meeting

Helluva headline. 

It was one of many absolutely incongruous, to me anyway, sentences in this aforementioned article Testing Evolution's Role in Finding a Mate.  

The article begins reasonably, with an explanation of scientist's prior belief that mate selection is evolutionary. "Women have a vested interest in reproduction, hence they don't want to select a dud for a mate." Liked the way that sounded, but witnessed by the divorce rate, single parenting and the like, it appears that evolution has, for sometime now, lost ground as an argument. 

The article goes on to talk about how Speed Dating is a living laboratory to test new hypotheses about mating. In one case, the scientists were looking to see whether men or women were choosier. Speed Dating, for those not in the know, is musical chairs without the music. But with the chairs. You move from one chair to another, face to face with a stranger for 3 minutes, move to the next chair and the next person. At the end of this totally ridiculous activity, you apparently then let it be known whom you would
like to see/speak to/sit opposite/again. It went on to talk about more research that made absolutely no sense. Example, men's preferences for occupation, height and smoking had little effect on whom they asked out. 

Would what the woman looked like be a factor???? 

The only substantive piece of info I gained from this particular article was about being fixed up as a way to meet people. Oh, it wasn't the being fixed up that was substantive information….it was the "if you know 20 people and each of them knows 20 other people, and each of them knows 20 other people you are connected to 8,000 people. 

20 to the third power is 8000. I may need that info someday. 
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Do you Twitter?

As of 17 minutes ago, I do.

Well, let me amend that. I signed up. I have yet to Twitter. 

I googled (mastered that activity) to find out why I think I should even consider this activity.

So here’s a couple of three things I found out. Cheesehead, (don’t ask) says there are three good reasons for us to do this. One: it is about building relationships. Would that be making new friends, I wonder, or finding a honey? If it is the latter, I guess that explains why I don’t have one of those either. Two, he says is about the Benjamins. WHAT IS A BENJAMIN? Appears to have something to do with business, consulting, corporate exposure. Is it the worlds longest acronym? Maybe, Be Engaged Now Just A Minute l’m New. Yeah, probably not. Lastly it’s Ease of Use.
Is he kidding? I came to a screeching halt after I signed on. In the 17 seconds that I created my profile (I am very good at that, my on line dating experience makes me the queen of profile posting) I had followers. FOLLOWERS? Where did they come from, I hadn’t written anything so what are they following?
Perhaps there is a section for “Hey, another technophobe just signed on.” Let’s take bets on how many days it is until she figures out how to Microblog.” Put me down for 5$, I won’t be up and running on this thing for weeks.

Twitter does have a self help video. I’ve often marveled as to how when you are watching one of these videos they seem to be  t a l k i n g   v e r y  s l o w l y, aware that if you need the assistance you might actually be alittle slow. I am enclosing that self help video for your viewing pleasure.

And, to add insult to injury, it appears, according to other info I found, Boomers are the fastest growing segment to the phenomenon of Tweeting, twittering, and tra la la ing.

Any thoughts, suggestions, how-to’s, success stories are welcome.
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Really Now…

Truth in advertising In the past week alone I’ve seen a number of ads that absolutely baffle and astound me.

Let’s see, first I came across a company called NYDJ® which stands for Not Your Daughter’s Jeans®. Their claim to fame is that their jean  “lifts you up, you can wear one size smaller than you normally wear, they call themselves the original “Tummy Tuck Jean®”.

Let’s stay with the one size smaller notion. Is that for those of us who know that when we get to a certain size, and a kamikaze diet is only a mouthful away, that we will THINK that we are actually not at that size yet, and keep eating? Obviously, they do.

Here’s one where the copywriter might be taken out and shot. The headline screams at you “Got Turkey Neck?” Get this, the tag line is “Remember….”If you have skin…you need StriVectin®.” IF YOU HAVE SKIN?

Lastly, you can go check out, TryWrinkleCure.com. Here the claim is “Looking Better Means Living Longer.” When was the last time you picked up a National Geographic and gazed, admiringly at the elders of some tribal culture somewhere in the outposts of New Guinea, or the Far East? Seems to me that they have lived a very very long life, as for the Looking Better Part…that’s up for debate, but they certainly have endured very nicely, don’t you agree, without The Miracle Cure®

Nonetheless I went ahead and bought all three products.

I applied StriVectin® to my entire body (I do have skin) put on my one size smaller, “not my daughter’s jeans”, which of course pushed the slathered StriVectin skin up and out causing my slathered skin to pour over the waistband, proceeded to reslather myself with The Miracle Cure® product so I could live longer.

How come, I wondered, I don’t “Feel Better” as advertised?

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Water aerobics

I am fearful that I am becoming a middle aged cliche.
I recently went to a water aerobics class at the local Y.

Understand that I have participated in these classes before. But, I was in  some tropical locale where all the participants were vacationers, of various ages and shapes and were, no doubt, so hung over from the previous nights festivities that they were intent to be bouncing about in hope that they would find some relief from the throbbing headache they couldn't otherwise shake. Alternatively, they were still too inebriated to know how foolish they, as well as the rest of us, actually looked.

The group at the Y were categorically not a group of toned and tanned revelers, but were "central casting" for a mid day weekday class of middle aged women.

And there I was in the midst of them.

I found my water weights under the direction of an "old timer" who informed me that since this was my "first time" I might want to consider the slightly speckled variety of weights. "They are lighter" she said conspiratorially, clearly not takng note of my years long, prior attempts, to be firmed and toned.
I thought, perhaps it was her water goggles, which she dutifully had on, that had clouded her vision.

So, I bounced and bobbed, twirled and kicked in time and rhythm with the rest of the ladies. And, yes, I know this is great exercise for bad backs, compromised knees, and sore joints.

Having said that, 2 lanes over was a class of "caregivers" and their charges, aged 6 months to 2 years, learning the fundamentals of being comfortable in the water. As they sang out to the likes of The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Farmer in the Dell" I thought, that's the class for me.

I know that the 25 or so pound grandbaby is infinitely heavier that the weights I am holding in my water logged hands, the enthusiasm of those giggling babies is contagious and the realization that my memory has not foresaken me and I knew all the nursery tunes, convinced me that I know which class I will find myself attending next time.

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Back hurt?

Too bad.

It seems that the FDA is rethinking our pain medications.

Apparently, acetaminophen, taken at the current dosage levels, can cause irreversible liver damage. So, the FDA is currently looking at reducing the daily dosages while still maintaining the drug's effectiveness. Death, as a side effect, does not sell product.

Needless to say, Johnson & Johnson, makers of Tylenol, strongly disagree. Wyeth Consumer Healthcare, makers of Advil, as you can imagine, are beyond deliriously happy…

But it got me thinking as to what does the FDA really do and what drugs have been, after the fact I might add, rethought, re prescribed, or removed from our drug store shelves.

How FDA approves drugs is a fairly interesting read. Part of the explanation is as follows"

"If the FDA gives the green light, the "investigative" drug will then enter three phases of clinical trials:

   Phase 1 uses 20-80 healthy volunteers to establish a drug's safety and profile. (about 1 year)
   Phase 2 employs 100-300 patient volunteers to assess the drug's effectiveness. (about 2 years)
   Phase 3 involves 1000-3000 patients in clinics and hospitals who are monitored carefully to determine     effectiveness and identify adverse reactions. (about 3 years)."

Here's the big question.  Who ARE these people that volunteer? What's the motivation? For the good of humankind…? It's all very altruistic, I suppose, but really….

And then, years later, when it appears that the drug has been effective in treating what ails, an announcement is made that states, hmmm, not. Sorry. Cease and desist usage.

I suspect, at the end of the day, there is no other way to go about this. So, carefully read the warning label, ask your doctor if he/she is sure about this, and then hope that you don't see a press release, or a story on the 11 o'clock news recalling your drug of choice.

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The thrill is gone

Putting it mildly Well, almost.

The Times article that I read, As People Age…. was attempting to determine if an aging brain responds differently than a younger brain to a promise of rewards. The volunteers were playing on line computer games. Their responses were measured when they anticipated winning money and when they actually did win money.

It appears that the brain responds differently to dopamine, a chemical messenger, as we age.
The result, they surmised, is a mellower older individual. The highs may not be as high, but neither are the lows as low.

Hmm, not so sure. It seemed to me that the flaw in the study might have been the decision to use on line computer games. How many of us really really feel highly stimulated by playing on line games?? Did the idea of winning money really motivate? Doesn’t do much for me. Ho hum, yawn.

Had the reward been a really hunky, Erica Jong type fantasy (refer to her book, Fear Of Flying if you don’t know what I am referring to…) would the results of the study been different?

Maybe not, but then again, they’d probably get more volunteers.

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Don’t overthink it

Haven’t you been accused, over the course of time, of cathecting, perserverating, obsessing over some thing or other, until friends and family threaten you with dismemberment?

Me too.

Then I read a New York Times article, I think therefore I’m Fat, and learned that scientists, conducting a study,  found that “there is an increase in levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increased fluctuation in plasma glucose and insulin levels during and after mental workouts.”  Translated, the subjects ate more after performing mental tasks then when sitting idly.

The moral of this story is pretty evident. Don’t threaten dismemberment, don’t chastise with,”I’ve heard that already”, or, ” would you make up your mind already,” simply state, ” gee, as you have been telling me this story, I think I am detecting a tad more puffiness in and around your double chin.”

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Is having an affair a mortal sin?

Such was the question posed in the Wall Street Journal, …Politician's sin goes beyond the affair.

Surprisingly, the answer is probably not. With the proliferation of elected officials, ahem, having dalliances, it appears that the electorate is prepared to "forgive the sin of adultery."

However, says the article, what the electorate is not prepared to forgive "is hypocrisy and the abuse of the office in pursuit of the sexual escapade."

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is guilty on both counts. Talking openly about values, voting to impeach then President Clinton, he has scored fairly high on the hypocrisy scale. He seems to be off the charts in the "abuse of the office" category, having conducted his affair in a state vehicle, allowed for deceit as to his whereabouts, did not inform his own lieutenant governor where he was to be found in case of an emergency. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

He's not alone in this hypocrisy and abuse of the office column. Eliot Spitzer, crossed state lines to indulge his fancy, Sen. Larry Craig played footsie in Minneapolis, Sen. John Edwards, the consummate family man, erred on the campaign trail.

So, if the abuse of office and hypocrisy supersede the abuse of a marriage that explains, perhaps, why Bill Clinton has not been lumped with this other group. They couldn't pin an abuse of power on him, nor did they hold him up as a hypocrite since he wasn't "exactly a family-value icon."

Indeed, he didn't have to leave his office, didn't use taxpayer money, he just stood up and aahed.

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Barbara’s excellent adventure

Not everyone has a passion for travel. Packing, unpacking, driving in unfamiliar territory, eating potentially strange and exotic foods, these are among some, of the many, expressed concerns I have heard from some folk. 

Couples, when one partner has a passion to go, see and do, and the other partner does not, find this particularly challenging and have to work out a plan so both can be happy. My friend Barbara shared with me how she handled this situation with her less than eager partner. I'd like to, now, share it with you.

"Yes, we did go on a cruise to Alaska. Here's what I learned thanks to this
cruise:

1. Pick a place you really want to go, not just one your cruise mate, i.e.
your husband, is WILLING to go.

2. Nature is good. Nature is beautiful. Nature is fascinating. Nature is a
pain in the ass when it rains for nine days straight. And P.S. The only
wildlife we saw was: one bald eagle, two seals, and a eighty-ish French
woman flirting shamelessly with any man on the ship (picture boobs dragging
on the floor).

3. When it rains for nine days straight (the entire trip) and you are on a
very small ship, there is nothing to do after you've read forty-seven books.

4.  Ports are important. Don't ever ask me to visit Skagway, or Ketchikan or
Sitka again (picture two blocks of T-shirt shops and nothing, repeat
nothing, else). And especially don't ask me to visit the vibrant city of
Juneau where the lovely (omigod) Republican governor of Alaska presides over
what, 650,000(?) citizens of the State of Alaska.

5. And finally, I learned that it IS possible to eat everything offered to
you. Even stuff you don't like. Even stuff you would never ever eat at home.
It's all good when you're bored on a ship.

6. Weight you gain on a cruise does not disappear as soon as you step off
the gangplank. 

That being said, we did have a good time because we always have fun
together. And my honey says he's willing to take another cruise, which was the
point in the first place. I'm planning a cruise to Greece and Turkey as soon
as he is up for it."

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Yet another memo to the Publicist…

Dress for Success is a terrific organization. 

It is a Non-profit that provides interview suits, confidence boosts, and career development to low-income women in over 75 cities worldwide. 

Clearly, it is necessary to organize fund raisers in order to sustain the mission of the organization.
In this current economic climate, coming up with ways to raise money and to encourage individuals to make donations, is certainly challenging.

Having acknowledged that, I was still somewhat taken aback to see the pairing of Dress for Success with Allergan. Allergan for those not in the know, is the maker of Botox (I have no idea how to make that little registration symbol) Cosmetic. Among some of the activities scheduled for the day of the fund raiser, the first 100 people to sign up online and participate will receive a complimentary analysis with an aesthetic-specialty physician, and, if appropriate, will get a Botox Treatment.

My friend, Linda, forwarded the blurb to me after having read about this event on Daily Candy. She thought the headline for the event might be, "From the Bottom of Your Heart To The Top of Your Forehead." Works for me.
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