A Human Fat Cell That Burns Calories?   Caught my attention, too.

I thought, okay, eating healthy, nutritionally balanced meals, doing aerobic and weight bearing exercises are the ways to maintain a trim and fit body. 

More bad news in the world of quick fix dieting.
Quick fix, of course, is the operative word for most of us. After all we seem to be able to put it on quickly, so the thought of taking it off quickly makes perfect sense. Doesn't it?

Not, reported the Times. Flush those toxins away! Eh, not so fast.

These diets, it appears, provide you with all the necessary information about how to rid the body of the unsavory substances in the system. Frankly, the only unsavory thing lurking in my world is the little person who spends an inordinate amount of time on my shoulder whispering in my ear "go ahead, eat it, drink it, you deserve it."

So, the conventional wisdom of the medical community is that the results of these extreme measures work simply because the body is dehydrating. Other side effects, they report, might be muscle cramps, fatigue and irritability.

Sounds suspiciously like menopause.

And to add insult to injury, there is no quick fix for that either.

If Daisy, Benjamin Button's life time love, had only known that she, too, could go to sleep old and wake up younger, she and Benjamin may have had a different end to their love story.

It's all in the bedding it seems. The comforter, pillow and sheets are the panacea for aging. At least, that's what the latest industry claims are, well, claiming.

It appears that seaweed mattress ticking rejuvenates skin. Aloe vera pillow covers and blankets soothe skin and moisturize. Cooper injected pillowcases reduce the appearance of facial wrinkles, amongst other claims.  Skin Deep: When My Wrinkles Hit The Pillow…

There wasn't any mention of what happens upon laundering your sheets, pillowcases, and comforters. A minor concern on my part, I suppose, but I'd hate to think that I coughed up as much as 250$ for a few days worth of benefits.

But back to Benjamin and Daisy…

Had she only known that there was a better choice for them. They could have entered the twilight of their lives together, each becoming younger and younger, smoother and suppler, cooing and drooling and swathed in diapers.

There seems to be an irony here. Agree?

How adept are you at placing your left pointer finger along side your left temple, your right pointer finger along side your right temple, simultaneously placing your thumbs along your jaw line and then, with an oh  so gentle tug, pull your face up and back, immediately taking ten years off your current age?

I am, in this manuever, undoubtedly an Olympian, a good medal winner. I score a perfect ten.

Except, I’ve learned that I need to flex my biceps as I do this. Much to my horror, as I lift my arms to effect this pose it appears that my underarms have taken on a life of their own.

Maybe, I thought, it’s time to go to see someone. Chat about how, what, how much, how soon. A phone call or two later I was off to see Dr. Makeyoulookyounger.

Our conversation proceeded something like this.

“My eyes” I said in response to his query as to what brought me to his office. “And, what else?” he said. Hmm, not quite the response I wanted, I thought. “Well, maybe a little work around the jowls but, I am fearful I won’t look like me” I sheepishly added.

“Get over yourself” he snorted. “Do you think that Helen Mirren doesn’t look like herself?”
“You did Helen’s face?” I asked, hopefully. “No” he said.

Alrighty then, I thought. He just did an exceptional endorsement for Helen Mirren’s doctor, or took a wild stab that someone I could possibly admire would motivate me to proceed.

“Let me rethink this” I said to him, gathering up my things.

If I was going to model my decision on a British actress, I thought, perhaps Dame Judi Dench is the role model  in all her dignified, jowly, lived in face, splendor.

That works for me. For now that is…..

Do you have any idea how many skin care products are on the market?

Collagen Infused. Cream for the Day. Cream for the Night. While indoors during the day when you are near a window and there is partial sun (okay, I made that one up). Additionally there are creams for deep wrinkles, lip reforming, below the cheek, above the brow, for your neck, cheek and jowls.

How to choose? What to buy? Do they work?

As I wandered around the aisles of my local CVS (after checking out the line up at the pharmacists window) see Infidelity on the upswing?,  I realized that there was an additional option for the goal of flawlessly smooth skin.

When I was a kid I spent a lot of time in our kitchen watching my Mom haul in the laundry. It was hung on a  clothesline that draped across the courtyard of our building, from the A side to the B side.

I watched in fascination as she wet down the almost dry garments, rolled them into a cylindrical shape and put them into the refrigerator. After a time that she deemed appropriate, she removed one item at a time, placed it on the ironing board and smoothed it with her hands, reshaping it. Then a can of Niagra spray starch appeared.

Furiously spraying away, certain that she had sufficiently anointed the item, she tested the iron with the tip of her moistened finger, the iron sizzled and she then ironed until not a crease, wrinkle or buckling of fabric existed. Smooth as a baby's proverbial…..

Why not? I thought. If the Niagra folk could make the product a tad less sticky, with a better aroma, it could be repackaged, repositioned and serve a dual purpose.

Think about it.

Wet your face, position yourself in front of the air conditioner, fan or opened freezer door, spray, smooth and you are ready to get on with your day.

Don’t throw away your Valpak envelope without looking inside!!

It seems that it is quite possible amongst and between the various coupons for Tide, Charmin and Yo Plait, you might find coupons for Botox, Restalyne and other plumping agents, with discounts offered from 10 to 30 percent off.

Not kidding.

It appears, according to an article I read in the style section of the New York Times on Nov. 9th 2008,  that plastic surgeons, in these trying economic times, are looking for creative marketing strategies to stimulate business.

Makes sense to me.

Wouldn’t you rather gaze upon a  sea of expressionless folks reading their latest financial statements, rather than seeing, up close and personal, what horror looks like?

As our estrogen levels dwindle away, some of us have heeded the advice of our physicians, concurred with the current literature, and determined that hormone replacement therapy is not an option.

I am one of those women.

So, for the past few years, or so, I have watched in both horror and fascination as my body continues to change. Having a vague recollection of my own puberty, I can recall the exuberance of the new additions…but, what had been given, it seems, is now rapidly being taken away.

Not an exhaustive list, but one that includes, loss of memory, a shrinking frame and thinning pubic hair. This following passage, excerpted from Medscape reported "narrowing vaginal introitis, petechiae of vaginal tissues, and loss of ruga."

I have absolutely no idea exactly what any of that really means.

I can assure you, however, that if I knew I had a ruga, I wouldn't have wanted to lose it.

But, then again, if my memory is slipping, perhaps I did know I had a ruga and only thought I misplaced it.