A docent.
A lecturer, a tour guide, an explainer of things, capable of pointing, nodding and smiling. I can do that.
I am pretty certain that to be really effective I would have to attempt a British accent. It seems to me that New York nasal doesn't have quite the gravitas for the task. Other than Ringo Starr, I can't think of listening to an English accent and not thinking, what brilliance! what insight! what rubbish!
Can you imagine? I could be a momentarily anointed expert. Momentarily is, you see, conditional on how long the installation remains at the museum. I would think, based upon my ability to retain new information, the best bet for me would be to be assigned to the permanent collection. Or the garden tour. Unless someone slips in, during the night, and adds a new picture or plant you pretty much can guarantee you'll remember what you said yesterday. Hopefully.
One huge concern I have is that I have never been able to find my way out of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I imagine the headline now. "Lost Docent and her group of out of town museum goers were finally found staving off starvation by lapping water out of the fountain in the Greek and Roman gallery." Alternatively, I could hope that my charges have short term memory issues. I could circle the same room over and over again in the hope that they wouldn't remember having looked at that picture just a few minutes before. That could work.
And sensible shoes. I'd have to buy sensible shoes. And a headband.
Pointing, nodding, smiling. I'm in.
One Response
….and there would always be the possibility of advancing any theory that took your fancy, and if you advanced it with enough gravitas AND a british accent no-one would dare contradict you.