Haven’t you been accused, over the course of time, of cathecting, perserverating, obsessing over some thing or other, until friends and family threaten you with dismemberment?

Me too.

Then I read a New York Times article, I think therefore I’m Fat, and learned that scientists, conducting a study,  found that “there is an increase in levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increased fluctuation in plasma glucose and insulin levels during and after mental workouts.”  Translated, the subjects ate more after performing mental tasks then when sitting idly.

The moral of this story is pretty evident. Don’t threaten dismemberment, don’t chastise with,”I’ve heard that already”, or, ” would you make up your mind already,” simply state, ” gee, as you have been telling me this story, I think I am detecting a tad more puffiness in and around your double chin.”

Dress for Success is a terrific organization. 

It is a Non-profit that provides interview suits, confidence boosts, and career development to low-income women in over 75 cities worldwide. 

There is an independent health product tester; watchdog; alerter to fraudulent advertising; whatever, out there called the ConsumerLab. According to AARP (now how did that get into my mailbox?) I read this article  What's really in your vitamins?

Horrors! They reported (consumerlab.com) that a tad less than a third of multivitamins tested were mislabeled or contaminated. Contaminated? With what?
One vitamin water, they stated, had 15 times the amount of folic acid claimed on the bottle. Having no idea how much folic acid one actually needs, that somehow didn't seem like a bad thing…Men's multivitamins had traces of lead. Fill in your own snide remark here. I'm behaving.

It is important, we can agree, for federal rules and standards of products to deliver the potency and quality they advertise. False claims are unacceptable…

Having said this, this week alone, I received these ads in my in box.

Derma Define Skin Care -you'll look 20 years younger
Metabolysin -Lose 30 pounds quickly
Green Tea Wrinkle Cream -also look 20 years younger
And lastly
Jun Pure Cleanser-this, you should be aware, isn't a facial scrub

So, if you actually believe in the magic of lotions, potions, supplements and flavored water to turn back the hands of time, then I've got the proverbial bridge to talk to you about.

Must it be true? I think that up there with the Disciples, what these two utter is as good as the Gospel.
Okay, except for Oprah's snafu with James Frey's book "A Million Little Pieces." But, I understand, they kissed and made up. And, she was forgiven for her trespass. Anyway…

The endorsement, it seems, is for a product called Resveratol. If you have alot of time on your hands right now, you might want to watch this segment from 60 minutes Drink to Your Health.

Water is usually the touted beverage of choice, it hydrates, cleanses, and costs zero. Unless you are a designer water drinker, which makes absolutely no sense to me, and you pay for your hydration.

This new life prolonging, anti aging promise comes to us from the properties within red wine. As Morley so aptly points out, we've known for a short while what the French have known forever. Red wine is good for you. It's a property within the wine that seems to have been extracted, soon to be in a little pill form, that these scientists are all excited about. As they should be, the fountain of youth formula portends a great deal of compensation. Really, would Ponce de Leon have ventured into the open seas if not for some vague notion about his mortality? He never found it, by the way, but he did find Florida, the mecca for the aging. Do you see the irony there?

Right now, it appears that one would have to drink about 1000 bottles a day to achieve the effect the scientists are working on in the lab. Since that's about 999 more than I am capable of imbibing, I just will have to wait.

In the meantime, L'Chaim, Salud, Skoal, Cheers.

While I was sitting on the train the other day, I saw a young woman furiously underlining, with her yellow neon marker, the text of her book. Now, I don't know about you, but this act has always rendered me paralyzed. 

No, actually, taking notes in class rendered me paralyzed. Underlining caused major angst. Clearly, I have little, if any, ability to feel confident in deciding what is absolutely, without question, categorically, the most important sentences within the text I am reading. I feel similarly when sitting in a roomful of folks who, with pens poised, are furiously taking notes as the lecturer lectures. The others are writing now…did I miss something? Was that important? Are they doodling, like I am, so I look like I am note taking?

Are you picturing a group of individuals, gathered at a cocktail party, making small talk, handing out their business cards, connecting?

You’d be wrong.

Chocolate, you see, is one of my favorite food groups. Along with red wine, chocolate has been in the news a great deal lately.  Good for you, not good for you, good for you. What’s a person to do?

And, if you want to help me remember, don't offer me anything to eat.

Lithe, and whippet sharp. Nice combo don't you think?

But who, in the throws of forgetting just about everything, mostly nouns it seems, wouldn't want to take a bite, or two, of something delicious, to pass the time while recalling where the car keys might be. Not so, say the scientists- another potential benefit of cutting calories: better memory.

To add insult to injury, it appears that another study, reminders of age undermine memory, suggested that thinking that you are losing your memory, because you are aging, does undermine your own performance.

So then, the obvious take away is….

You say aloud, "it's great to be 35",  as you eat that piece of cake, while you are standing, right in front of the open door of the refrigerator, because everyone knows that calories don't count unless you are sitting at a table, using a knife, fork or spoon.