What's your beverage of choice?

When in Italy, I, with the necessary flair and confidence, convinced I am fluent, order "una bottiglia d'acqua sensa gas per favore" an action that is simply what you do when dining there. Here, in New York, paying for my water seems unnecessary and expensive, so "tap water is fine, thank you" ordered with my decidedly nasal New Yawk accent.

Maybe, not so much, anymore. 

For it seems, according to the Times article Millions In U.S. drink dirty water  that the Safe Drinking Water Act has been violated. VIOLATED? That's pretty strong language when applied to our tap water. Don't you think?

Nonetheless, illegal concentrations of arsenic or radioactive substances, and dangerous bacteria found in sewage, is not what I had in mind when turning on my tap for a glass of water. 

Moderately comforting was the statement that in some cases water violations were one time events. This, of course, was negated with the statement that illegal contamination has persisted for years in other systems. I read that you could go to www.epa/gov/safewater/index.html which I dutifully did, to find out the quality of water in my area.

I couldn't figure out how to navigate the site to find the answer. 

So, I have made a decision going forward until I have clarity about the quality of my water.

I will only order wine. 

Months back I commented about apps for phones. I was certain, at that time, if I could figure out how to access them, download them, retrieve them, etc. I would absolutely, certainly and surely make use of them.

I haven't yet. Okay, maybe one or two. Those revolve around finding a place to eat.

Now I've read about a new possibility for my iphone that wowed me. Sadly, I am sure that I absolutely, certainly and surely won't be able to use, either.

The reason is pretty simple. 

Take a listen to this. Incredilble, isn't it. I, having never mastered any instrument, ever, could say that I now play the iphone. Okay, maybe not. But I am floored by the minds of those who not only conceive of this possibility but go ahead and execute against it. Not so sure about the guy in the white suit, however.

After sharing this with a friend, I asked his thoughts. "Interesting," he said. "Interesting? That's it?" I said. "When it dispenses refreshments" he replied. "I'll be there."

And he's right. That works for me, too.

Tina. One of the most recognizable icons of the music industry. Recognizable to me, that is, when I saw her image at the extraordinary exhibit Who Shot Rock and Roll  at the Brooklyn Museum.

Let's revisit recognizable.

 Ariella Budick of the Financial Times suggested, if I understood her correctly, that "the images mean very little if you don't recognize the musicians they depict."

Beg to differ.

I know the words to a million songs. I can't tell you who, however, save a very few performers, recorded it. Does it matter?

We gaze at art, not always able to recall the artist's name. We talk about books read, may not be able to recall the author's name. Does not lessen the impact of what we have seen or read. The hell with Ariella. 

A youngish couple were moving along at the same pace I was and provided, happily for me, a few bars of the songs associated with each of the artists. I alternatively, was able to provide a bit of historical prospective about life before sound waves.

 Kidding.

Or, better yet, blow your whistle.

And make a fortune doing it.

Are you a 'soon to be retired' or 'disgruntled with your current position" person, daydreaming about an alternative life style? Are you second guessing how much you have put away for your golden years? Still a working stiff and fearful that you are not saving enough? Has you pension been decimated? 

Well here's a thought.

Participate in some slightly nefarious activity, not one that you concocted of course, just have some compliance in executing. Watch, wait, wait and watch and then when the time is ripe, call in the Feds.

Let's consider Bradley C. Birkenfeld.  A private banker for UBS, he divulged the tax evasion secrets of its wealthy, well heeled clientele.  Not watching from the sidelines, mind you, he participated eagerly and willingly. For which, alas, he is going to prison.

And suing for a multi billion dollar reward from the US government. That would be multi billions. 

Let's consider. Jail time, Billionaire.  Hmmm.

Not for you? Me neither. So, squirrel away your pennies, keep your nose to the grindstone and play the lottery.

HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL

                                   HAPPY  SLICING  DICING  CHOPPING  

My expectation when I close the stall door in a public bathroom is to come face to face with a sign telling me "only flush toilet tissue," or "protect your belongings." 

You too?

So, imagine my surprise, amusement, confusion, bemusement when I gazed up into this sign.
 

My first thought was, "is this the equivalent of the mile high club" for people who desire a roomier environment? It was after all, a pretty commodious commode. 

My second thought was to rethink my first thought. Maybe they aren't cautioning the inhabitants to refrain from a sexual liason, but rather to another illicit activity. Drug deals, anyone? 

Seems to me, in either case, that I was clearly in an environment whose usual clientale was probably a tad more hip and trendy than my local cheesburger, cheeseburger hang out.

I'm not naive enough to believe that various and assorted nefarious activities don't take place ….just that they are not, in gleaming stainless steel, warned against.

I'll have to refrain myself when I go back there.

I might have to do something really daring. Leave the seat up?

I catch cold, snippets of gossip, flack for misdeeds. 
Catching a poisonous Black Mamba snake, not so much.

I was half listening to an NPR broadcast. The interviewer was talking to (I ultimately found out) Thea and Clifton Koen about their personal mission to catch and capture these poisonous creatures.

Really, I thought, Jewish snake catchers? My head shot up. After a few more minutes of listening it became evident that these two Koen's were not of the tribe. 

Nonetheless, what did strike me is what some folks undertake. Outside of the daily routine, that is. Imagine, brush teeth, comb hair, wrestle a snake into submission, have coffee, maybe a croissant. 

I do have these momentary lapses where I imagine myself doing something infinitely more noble and heroic than I currently do. Yeah, yeah, I do volunteer and I appreciate that is a very good thing to do.

But, what I am talking about here is the heart racing, knees knocking, sweat forming, breath holding acts of courage and heroism. I am talking about documentaries being shot to record this fearless act. I am talking about folksongs, books. Monuments. 

I'm exhausted.

And, I am clearly not the only soul with this fantasy. Think "Up the Sandbox", "Zelig", "The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty," to name just a few.

But, for me, for now, I can only add rainbows and pipe dreams. I can catch glimpses of those anytime I want.

Whew, that's a relief, the Times reported this week that Doomsday in the year 2012 isn't going to happen.

Clearly, when they made this announcement, they didn't consider that the "Going Rogue" author, Sarah Palin might be considering a Presidential run for that very same year. Having seen her on the media bandwagon this past week, I can state, with certainty, that the Mayans had to be referencing her as a catastrophic event. But, she does have great eye wear.

As for more immediate space odyssey events, this week we are/have/did experience Leonid's Meteor Shower. I clearly was absent the week that my eighth grade science teacher talked about asteroids, comets and meteors  so in a moment of wanting to learn something I looked up the differences. Certain that I do not really need to  know this, I nonetheless am providing the information for you to peruse. No pop quizzes.

So, I dutifully set my alarm in anticipation of watching the phenomenon. Upon hearing the buzz I did what you all know you'd do, I hit the button, rolled over and went back to sleep. I figured that the concept of star gazing was infinitely more romantic, then the actuality of wandering into my backyard, swathed in an over sized tee shirt and sweatpants, looking up into the haze and smog of Brooklyn, hoping to see something, anything that resembled a shower of meteors..

Thank heaven for you tube, or the news or The Weather Channel. I will, later this evening, watch the celestial light show, and report back to you on what you might have missed.

Great word.

Angelina, Lindsay, Britney. No last names required, right? You knew exactly whom I was referencing. They are the poster women for my new favorite word. Now, if I mention Craig? Would you immediately know which Craig? 

Alrighty then, some of you immediately knew which Craig. Like in list. Like in being able to find, locate, opt for, chat with, learn how, avoid, "Craigslist." 

But, I wasn't fully appreciative as to how, brace yourself, ubiquitous, (it, he, them?) is. Voyeur that I am, I read, with some fascination, the Times article Better to Have Loved and Lost a compilation of, in this instance, poems of unrequited love, lifted from the missed connections…MISSED CONNECTIONS?? on CraigsLIst.

So sad.

But, in trying to figure out how to find, read, snicker, empathize, with the rest of the "missed connections" stories, lo and behold, I found that there are about a zillion discussion groups going on there.

Who knew?

Give yourself a user name and jump right in. Tax reform, religion, polyamory (yup, it's a discussion group), literature (I think there were 2 people signed up for this one). And, Craigslist is international, you can participate in any discussion in any country you'd like.

Now clearly, I have acknowledged that I am in the last car, of the last train in how to really participate in the on line space. So, perhaps, you already were aware that you could become a member of any group that would have you.  

During your rooting about for more mundane items like  lessons, an apartment or a summer rental, you too have the opportunity to have a moment of being ubiquitous. 

Not famous, of course. Just all over the place.